Have you ever heard the concept that you will become like the people you hang around? Your parents knew it to be true – that’s why they were always on your case about choosing good friends and why they were unhappy when you chose friends they thought would get you into trouble.
Studies show that people will engage in more risky and rowdy behavior when they are in a group than when they are alone. For example, think about protests that get out of control. There is something about peer pressure that can really help us if the pressure is to do good things – like doing well at school and work, but peer pressure can be super detrimental if its coaxing us to do unhealthy things like stealing or partying all night.
In my past work as a counselor and currently as a life coach, people, often young people of early college age, have told me that they had attracted bad friends in the past and have asked me how could they choose good friends.
Choosing good friends doesn’t have to be complicated – Ask yourself 4 Simple Questions to help you choose Simply Rich Friendships:
“Is this person Sane?”
Yah, I know it sounds basic but think about some people you know–aren’t they a bit crazy? I don’t mean the fun playful kind of crazy that’s okay – I am talking about the bad kind of crazy where they are unpredictable and take risks that put other people at risk like driving too fast, drinking and driving, drugging and driving. Occasionally we are all going got make dumb decisions but if you have a person in your life where making dumb decisions is what they do most of the time – that person is not a good choice for a close friend. Stick with the fun, playful, crazy friend instead!
“Is this person Sober?”
Many of the people I have worked with have had some type of addictive behavior. Whether it’s an eating disorder, abuse of alcohol or drugs, overspending, gambling, or sleeping around – If you know you have tendencies toward compulsive behavior then it’s good to choose friends who are sober. Find friends who understand and support your sobriety!
“Does this friendship help or hurt my Spirit?”
You know that inner part of you that acts like a radar detector – after you are with that person are you feeling good about yourself and built up or is there something about them that you can’t quite explain that makes you feel kinda sad or icky on your insides? If you feel bad after you are with them then that is the kind of person that you don’t need to be friends with and you don’t need to understand completely why… your inner spirit or some people call it intuition is perceiving things to protect you. Good friendships help build you up!
“Is this person Safe?”
It’s important to be able to be honest and to be yourself around your friends. If you are slipping into people pleasing behaviors around this person – making choices when you are with them that you wouldn’t make when you are alone then you might want to reevaluate your friendship. Good friends love you in your happy times and in your sad times and they encourage you to be your best self!
Remember to Keep it Simple, Sweetie!
All the best,