Being engaged and newly married is awesome! So many things are happening! You’ve found someone you are so compatible with that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. It’s a great time! Don’t let marriage myths get in the way!
While working with couples I’ve found that newlyweds always encounter a few surprises in the first few months together. Simply put, the surprises come from myths they subconsciously believed before they got together. Here are a few common marriage myths.
Marriage Myth #1 Your partner and you are so in love that you’ll never have big disagreements
Truth: You are 2 people with 2 minds and 2 sets of emotions – disagreements are going to happen.
The key to having a simply rich marriage is not avoiding all conflict – it’s learning how to deal with differences of opinions in a way that builds up your relationship and doesn’t tear each other down. (See Keep it Simple Fair Fighting Tips.)
Marriage Myth #2 Our wedding will be perfect!
Truth: Your wedding is going to be super special and you’ll create some wonderful memories which will make the day absolutely perfect!!!
The key is to remember to enjoy your day and agree ahead of time not to let anything that doesn’t go according to plan upset you! Some fun stories come from what didn’t go according to plan. When my husband and I got married one of our ring bearers froze and had to be coaxed down the aisle by someone bribing her with lifesavers! We had a great time on our wedding day and still enjoy telling all the stories of what went according to plan and what didn’t!
Marriage Myth #3 We will live happily-ever-after!
Truth: You had good days and bad days before you met your spouse and you’ve had good days and bad days since you met your your spouse.
We all know this “happily ever after” myth is perpetuated by wonderful fairy tales. Although we may know in our gut it’s idealistic, there is still a part of us that believes when we are in love we will always be happy. In my work with couples I have come to see that the couples who love each other deeply and are truly happy are the ones that have embraced the reality that life and their spouse aren’t perfect and that happiness actually comes from a decision to care and love even on bad days!
So the key is yes, you will live happily ever after as long as you realize happily ever after has some bad days sprinkled in the mix!
Myth #4 We will always be in sync with each other sexually
Truth: Many of us romanticize the sexual relationship thinking that we will always want to make love at the same time. Just like you and your spouse might get physically hungry at different times it’s only natural that you might be sexually interested at different times.
The key is to realize that it doesn’t mean that you are not compatible if one of you is a morning person and the other is not. You’ll figure out fun compromises. You can’t read each others’ minds so occasionally talk to each other about how, when, where, and what you like and don’t like physically. Sex is such a fun and important part of marriage take the time to learn how to love your spouse the way they like to be loved.
Enjoy being newlyweds!
Remember to Keep it Simple, Sweetie!
All the best,